janice

Alexandria Michelle Red

in the center of the city
janice paces slowly on
canal street watching the
# 8 slow she sits alone at the
streetcar stop digging the crusted
edges of her belly button
that never get enough rest
to heal self-inflicted scabs. the yellow
shotgun on the corner refuses
to rest t.v. blares from the front
room window warning of
season upheaval
janice swats at the female
mosquito sitting on
her neck. she re-lands waiting
to get fat on over sweetened
blood the streetcar
moves slowly up the center line
of canal street
janice rises stepping forward
mr. thomas lets her on forgiving
collection of the ride’s fair
she carries her brown
chicago tote bag
to the back of the car,
"how ya doing mr. thomas?"
"fine just fine we haven’t seen ya at
greater st. stephens in awhile."
"i know suh."
"when was the last time you saw your mama?"
"a week or two ago," janice lies
she sits reaches down and
pulls out an old tattered
copy of her high school
yearbook. she turns to page thirty-four
and again remembers herself
the old homecoming queen
crowned in tiara and smiles

she doesn’t remember where she is going the breeze paws at her face as she listens to the streetcar rumble toward the river. we are swimming through water running through water crashes through her head like a mantra. she feels like she is losing her way home gently she calms jumpy thoughts going soon wishing home. she is able to keep her head above the waves by remembering her mama’s catfish, greens and gumbo are the only meals she cares to eat. no dandelions to make milkweed crashes through her head, "is this what happens when we drown? to the average beast i appear to be a walking wraith or clown, folding up against the living." a cow has no concept of enjoying its last meal only once. she wants to feel at home in her body. slick with heat fingers slide down swatting at she mosquitoes. the next leg of her trip is down st.charles. she gets off at prytania. the breeze faces her toward a lost river. she has never seen a real mountain. cattails have been netted in the ferry driver’s equipment. james joyce going mad in the mind surfaces, she remembers. she remembers reading joyce in twelfth grade lit.

3

janice propels
herself down prytania street
passing her mama’s brick house
she doesn’t know how she ended
up here instead of at mama’s
she rings the bell
next to numbers 1413
shuttered doors open
She barefoot
brown skin shimmers
against her long yellow dress
without speaking
She outstretches hands
inviting janice inside
without fingers touching there is
a slow kiss tasting
wet slow sucking
slow tongue diving
janice remembers
feeling at home again within her
crazy skin she forgets the ghosts
in the room, touching Eileen’s arched
back kissing bellies
two women forget lost friendships
as two-merge-one
waving away nine years of silence
that did not end passion
sweat on skin evaporates
quickly with the spin of the ceiling fan floating
two women once girls
remember after-prom glows